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Curry: (throwing couch pillows at Zach)  I’ve had enough of yo carousin’!

Randolph: I ain’t carousin’! I don’t even know what carousin’ means!

Curry: It means you fuckin’ around!

Carroll: (turns to Nate)  Well, this is one gosh-darn awkward family dinner!

Robinson: No, this has become the norm in the Randolph household as of late.

Carroll: How do you cope, ‘Lil Nate?

Robinson: (shrugs)  Drugs.

Carroll: (chortles)

Robinson: (blank stare)

Carroll: Oh.  (still chortles)

Curry: I want you out my house, you old philanderer!

Randolph: This my house, woman! I’m the one who’s actually workin’ this season!

Robinson: Hey! I’m workin’ too, Pop!

Randolph: See? Your fat lazy ass got our son out there workin’!

Carroll: Me too! I’m working…on my sitting skills!

Randolph: Shut up, honky!

Curry: You can’t talk to our wacky next-door neighbor like that!

Randolph: I can talk to whoever I want however I want when I’m under my roof!

Curry: It’s like I don’t even know you anymore! You’re in shape. You have a work ethic. You care. WHO ARE YOU???

Carroll: (rolls eyes)  He’s Zachary Tyler Randolph, ya goof! He’s your husband!

Curry: Not anymore he isn’t! This marriage unrecognized by the state is OVER!

Randolph: Fine! You wanna play that way? Then get out my house, woman!

Curry: Gladly! C’mon, Nate! We’re leaving!

Randolph: Oh no! Nate stays with me! He’s my lineage, dammit!

Robinson: I was adopted, old man! And I don’t wanna live with neither of you! I wanna live with Matt!

Carroll: Ooh, maybe we should talk this over a bit beforehand there, Nathan. I’m a bit of a loner.

Curry: You ain’t livin’ with no strange white man! He doesn’t know how to raise a black child!

Robinson: I’m not a child anymore, Mom!

Carroll: I don’t think we’d have any trouble, Ms. Curry. My house is color blind!  (chortles)

Curry: Oh, you the expert on raising black kids now? You got washcloths in your bathroom?

Carroll: What in the holy heck is a “washcloth”?

Robinson: It’s like a little miniature towel you use to clean yourself in the shower.

Carroll: …

Robinson: Man, it just gets easier & easier to blow his mind.

Curry: Nate, get some washcloths and wipe this mess up.