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(Wizards Coach Flip Saunders meets with his new team in late-August training camp..)

Saunders: Alright fellas, I ain’t gonna pussyfoot around here. I am not a very good basketball coach.

Jamison: Uh…

Saunders: I’m not a big fan of defense.

Arenas: Sweet.

Saunders: I’m a bit of a pushover & you’ll probably be able to get away with a lot while I’m here, which won’t be long.

Thabeet: Huh..

Saunders: And I hired an illegal alien as my assistant coach.

Cassell: (waves)  Gleep-glop.

Saunders: But that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun, right?

Haywood: Um..

Saunders: I’m a bit of an offensive guru, if you will. I like shootin’ jumpers.

Butler: LOL, me too..

Saunders: I’m not very good with substitutions either. I’ll give ya an example.. We’re playing the Celtics. Andray’s in foul trouble. McGuire’s shooting ten of eleven off the bench. I put in an ice-cold Pecherov, instead. Anybody see what I did wrong there?

Haywood: (raises hand)  Perhaps you should’ve warmed up Pecherov before putting him in?

Arenas: (waves hand wildly)  Throw him in the microwave for a minute, that’s how I warm my boxers up in the morning.

Saunders: (grins)  Oh yeah, we’re gonna get along just fine..