www.lowposts.com

There’s usually nothing funny about an athlete missing games with an injury.  But once in a while, a player gets hurt by doing something so stupid or humiliating, that you can’t help but laugh.   Bill Gramatica tearing his ACL after celebrating a meaningless field goal, Gus Frerotte head-butting a padded cement wall in the endzone, and Sammy Sosa blowing out his back with a violent sneeze are just a few infamous examples from other sports.  Here are some of the funniest (and dumbest) injuries from the NBA.

Pervis Ellison, Celtics: “Out of Service Pervis” (then-teammate Danny Ainge’s affectionate nickname) sure made it stressful for Boston in the late-90’s.  The oft-injured Ellison missed most of the 1996/97 season after dropping a coffee table on his foot and breaking his big toe in 11 places. He’d play 78 games over the next four seasons combined, using most of his free time to grow out those awesome dreads. Ironically, Kendrick Perkins missed time earlier this season after his bed somehow collapsed on his toe.  The Ghost of Pervis lives!

Kevin Johnson, Suns:  After Johnson hit a game-winning shot, Charles Barkley celebrated by wrapping him up in a big bear hug.  Barkley squeezed so tightly, that he popped and dislocated KJ’s shoulder.  Uh, how about you just stick to the homoerotic butt-slapping next time, guys? Then again, that was probably not the best advice for Sir Charles while he was serving his three-day jail sentence.

Tony Allen, Celtics: In January 2007, Allen decided to showboat by going up for an uncontested dunk, well after the referee blew the whistle to stop the game.  He came down awkwardly on his right leg, and ended up missing the rest of the season with a torn ACL and MCL.  Although he returned after only nine months, he still hasn’t regained the speed and quickness he once showed on the court.  And the worst part is that he didn’t even make the dunk!

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Bucks:  In a 1974 pre-season game, Abdul-Jabbar was pushed and inadvertently poked in the eye by Don Nelson.  Kareem was so mad that he turned around and punched the backboard support.  He’d sit out the first 16 games of the regular season with a broken hand. It’s too bad that angry Kareem never made a cameo at the 33-second mark of this clip and decked Billy Crystal.

Lionel Simmons, Kings: Simmons missed two games during the 1990/91 season with wrist tendinitis, brought on from playing too much Nintendo Gameboy. As someone who likes to sneak in an occasional game of Tetris during the workday, I feel your pain, Lionel.

Drew Gooden, Magic: Gooden: out (infected hair follicle). Those five words appeared on Orlando’s official injury report on March 7, 2004, ending the forward’s consecutive games played streak at 83.  A relapse in 2007 led an embarrassed Gooden to finally shave the ducktail on the back of his neck. Okay, so the infected hair was on right leg, and I made up that last part (at least as far as I know).

Brad Miller, Kings: Miller missed several games last season after getting stitches to repair a gash on his finger.  He sliced it while washing dishes in his own house, and no, I have no idea what a multi-millionaire athlete was doing hand-washing cups and plates. And couldn’t you come up with something just a little more manly, Brad, even if it was a large butcher knife? Everyone loves a good fight story.

Derrick Rose, Bulls: Similarly to Brad Miller, Rose needed 10 stitches last December after cutting his arm while trying to peel an apple in bed.  I’m guessing that’s not how Vinny Del Negro drew it up…but hey, even if he did, it would still go down as one of his best plays of the year.

Monta Ellis, Warriors:  Ellis severely sprained his ankle during the summer, and missed the first three months of the regular season.  After insisting that he hurt himself while working out, he finally revealed that it happened after he was involved in a low-speed moped accident.   The Warriors suspended Pinocchio for 30 games without pay and decided against hiring Jay Williams as an assistant coach.

Dishonorable Mention:

*Muggsy Bogues: missed the second half of a game after accidentally inhaling ointment fumes while getting treated at halftime.

*Jason Collins: missed the preseason and the start of the regular season after suffering an with an elbow injury when his golf cart skidded and tipped over.

*Latrell Sprewell: broke his hand either when he tripped and fell off his yacht or when he punched a wall, depending on who you ask (he was out of the league at the time).

*Magic Johnson:  having unprotect — nah, let’s not go there for once.