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One afternoon, while in his laboratory trying to invent a gun that shoots guns, unemployed backup point guard Jamaal Tinsley discovered time travel. The only problem: He cannot control it. Now he is lost somewhere in the space-time continuum, looking for a way back to our reality and a ten-day contract with the Beşiktaş Cola Turka Kara Kartallar..

Tonight’s adventure: Quảng Trị Province, South Vietnam - 1969..

(Jamaal Tinsley lands in a rice paddy..)

Tinsley: You fools wanna help a brother out?

Vietnamese Rice Farmer #1: (running away)  Nie ma! Nie ma!

Vietnamese Rice Farmer #2: So sorry for my friend. He afraid of Americans. My name is Pete.

Tinsley: Pete?

Pete: Pete.

Tinsley: Where am I at, Pete? The Orient?

Pete: Why you are in Vietnam, sir. Are you a soldier?

Tinsley: Fuck yeah, I’m a soldier!  (flexes)

Pete: Where is your gun?

Tinsley: Oh, no. I’m not a soldier..

Pete: We are in the middle of the Great War with the Americans. You have wandered into a dangerous land.

Tinsley: (cracks knuckles)  Yeah, that’s what I do. I’m being chased through time & space by Kenny Anderson.

Pete: Oh..

Tinsley: So this is the Vietnam War? Don’t look so bad. Can’t believe we lost this shit.

Pete: You…lost?

Tinsley: Are you good Vietnamese or bad Vietnamese?

Pete: Good Vietnamese. Let me take you to meet somebody.

Tinsley: Before we go, can we fry some of this shit up?

Pete: Fly?

Tinsley: Rice Krispies!

~~~

(Pete takes Jamaal to a small hut on the edge of the paddy and introduces him to an older man..)

Pete: This is our most esteemed leader, Ho Chi Minh. Mister President, this is Jamaal. A man who fell from the skies.

Minh: Pleasure to meet you, Jamaal.

Tinsley: ‘Sup, Prez!

Minh: You are…American?

Tinsley: Sho ’nuff.

Minh: You have come to assassinate me?

Tinsley: Uhhhhh….yes?

Minh: Very well. Do your worst. I am too weak to fight any longer.

Tinsley: Hmm..  (pushes Ho Chi Minh, knocks him over in his chair)

Minh: Please. Make it quick. I do not want to suffer.

Tinsley: (looks down at the fallen leader)  Man, I can’t do this.

Pete: But you must! The Leader demands it!

Tinsley: If I harm even a single butterfly, it could upset the very fabric of reality.  (steps on a butterfly, glances down)  Two butterflies..

(On a nearby river, a boatful of Navy SEALs cruise by..)

(Back in the hut..)

Minh: I had a vision the other night of my death. I was to come out here to the country. To the hut of a simple rice farmer.

Pete: (waves excitedly at Jamaal)

Minh: And a man who fell from the skies above was to take my life and bring me to the next.

Tinsley: That doesn’t sound like me.

Minh: But you came from the skies! Who else can come from the skies?

Tinsley: Maybe it’s s’posed to be a paratrooper! Or a Koopa Troopa! Or Wario!

Minh: Who is this Wario?

Tinsley: Oh he’s a bad man, Chang. You don’t want none of him.

Minh: Please, you must kill me!

Tinsley: Man, you live in Asia. Get some ninjas to do that shit!

(Suddenly the ground rumbles below Jamaal’s feet..)

Tinsley: Uh oh, time warp. I better get outside, don’t wanna rip a hole in this old boy’s hut.  (hustles outside)

Minh: (following Jamaal, grabs onto him)  Take me with you! Take me to the next life!

Tinsley: What’s wrong with you, Chin? Get off me! I can’t fit two people in this time warp!

(The sky opens up above the two men..)

Minh: The Gods are accepting us into Eternity!

Tinsley: Nah, we probably just gonna go to 1800’s Boston or some dumb shit like that.

(The time warp sucks Tinsley & Ho Chi Minh up into the sky..)

Minh: Oh, Great Buddha! Forgive my sins!

Tinsley: Da Nang it! Stop yellin’, China Girl!

(And with a POP, he’s gone..)

Pete: (squinting up at Sun)  Uh oh, lost Ho Chi Minh..

~~~

(The next day, Pete the rice farmer is visited by a strange figure in disguise..)

Anderson: I rooky for one they call Mer Mer The Abuser!

Pete: Holy crap..

TO BE CONTINUED..