Nappy Brown’s Football Prognostications: Week 12
Legendary soul-singer Nappy Brown is not only a basketball aficionado; he’s a bit of a football buff as well. Every week Nappy will make his NFL predictions..
Week Twelve
Thanksgiving Edition!
Thanksgiving!
The giving of thanks!
The thanking of the giving!
With the giving and the thanking and oh, pass the gravy and the..
GET OUTTA HERE, COSBY!
Thanksgiving is the one time of year that Nappy can eat to his heart’s content without his diabetes doctor badgering him about it! Because that doctor’s Native American and we don’t let Injuns on the house on such a holy day!
But you know what my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is?
The stuffing!
Man, if I could put stuffing on ice cream I’d do it! In fact…who’s stopping me?
(puts stuffing on ice cream)
(tastes)
(vomits)
Onto the picks!
Packers (-11) over Lions - Three Turkey Day games on Thursday. Two that actual normal human beings can watch. But this is the classic. The Packers & the Lions. As traditional as a fresh Indian scalp centerpiece.
Raiders (+14) over Cowboys - What better way to celebrate Thanksgiving than with the Cowboys; the men who nearly wiped out our First Thanksgiving dinner guests. I had an Indian over for dinner once. That Gandhi fella didn’t eat anything! Rude!
So we ate him!
BURN HIM ‘TIL HE’S BROWN!
Giants (-7) over Broncos - And the one Thanksgiving game that nobody will see. The Broncos continue their traditional late-season skid. As dependable as an old Chevy pickup.
BUILT CHEVY TOUGH!
Falcons (-13) over Buccaneers - I’ll let ‘Ol Stephen, the Bucs fan, handle this one..
I, for one, am very excited about Thanksgiving. I’m thankful for the fact that I get to try out my new deep-fryer. Let’s just say those horses on the ranch next door might be “deep-fried horses” by morning, if ya catch my drift.
What I’m trying to say is the Stills Family is eating fried horse meat for Thanksgiving.
But first, we let ‘em duke it out!
Ahh, Thanksgiving traditions..
Dolphins (-4) over Bills - The Bills tried to interview Bill Cowher (who said no) at the same time they were trying to recruit Mike Shanahan. Methinks they just shot themselves in the foot with that coaching search.
Hey! I know a good coach for them!
He’s gonna hafta phone it in, though!
Bengals (-14) over Browns - Feels like they play this game twelve times a season. Nothing more boring than a battle of the C-Towns. Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus.. Is that all they got in Ohio? C’s? Good for breasts, bad for towns!
Seahawks (-3) over Rams - You know what I’m thankful for? Not having to watch an NFC West abortion! Use a coat hanger next time, St. Louis!
Jets (-3) over Panthers - My Panthers are still somehow not completely knocked out of playoff contention. It’s like we’re winning despite ourselves.
Eagles (-10) over Redskins - Hey, D.C.! At least you’re not a state!
Colts (-4) over Texans - Texans have played spoiler before. This would have to be one of the biggest spoilers of all! Like Kevin Spacey!
Chiefs (+14) over Chargers - The Chiefs knocked off the defending champs last week and they’re fourteen point underdogs against San Diego? This some bullshit, Vegas! Respect the Chefs!
GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLY!
49ers (-4) over Jaguars - Mike Singletary’s faith in God, or Jack Del Rio’s faith in suits? I know who I’m going with!
Cardinals (E) over Titans - Vince Young’s magical ride comes to a halt. And what a magical, topless, bi-curious ride it was!
Vikings (-11) over Bears - Hey, Chicago! At least ya got the Bulls!
Steelers (E) over Ravens - The defending champs bounce back against Baltimore & The Unibrowed One. They can’t freefall forever!
Patriots (+3) over Saints - The Super Bowl Preview! (Unless the Vikings make it. Or the Colts. Or the Steelers. Or the Panthers!)
The vaunted New Orleans offense against the nearly-as-vaunted New England offense. But is this a matchup of great offenses or a matchup of really mediocre defenses. You be the judge!
HAPPY TURKEY DAY, YOU TURKEYS! SAVE SOME STUFFIN’ FOR NAPPY!
Last Week: 10-6
Best Week:10-6 (Week 11)
Season: 80-77-2 (.503)
2 Comments »
RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL
[...] Low Post: Nappy Brown is a legendary soul singer and basketball aficianado. He’s also a competent football buff, who made some week 12 predictions. Sportress of Blogitude: Sports columnists who blog are just like us. If they put on pants, it’s one leg at a time. The Phoenix Pub: Lowercase presnts his thankfully short holiday edition of the landscape of non-BCS football. Purple Jesus Diaries: PJD rips apart his beloved Vikings from the perspective of a Lions fan. Yes they still exist. KSK: This weeks Sean Taylor Memorial Meast and Jeff George Memorial Least of the week came grom the same game. The game of the season. Luckily they were from different teams. Sporting Madness: Bucholtz is in Calgary for the Grey Cup, and he tries to explain to you Americans the importance of it. With Leather: Ufford returns to WL to present what he’s thankful for. Punter and Weed vs. Speed also give thanks, but I’ve only got space for one link. Figure it out. Dr. Saturday: Blog Pollin. An analysis of overall CFB rankings derived from various blogs. AKPC_IDS += “3344,”;Popularity: unranked [?]If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed! [...]
Hey you guys! What the fuck? Where’s my depressingly, sparesely populated liveblog of the Washington Generals versus the Miami Wade and non-Wades? And I had a real humdinger of a Tiger Woods joke saved up too!