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Let’s pretend for a moment that Brett Favre is serious about his latest “retirement,” his third in as many years.  If the world’s biggest prima donna has truly hung up his cleats and the Vikings will rely on Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels at quarterback, Minnesota will be hard-pressed to match last season’s 12 wins.  After all, T-Jack lost his starting job two games into the 2008 season to journeyman and all-around genius Gus Frerotte, and Rosenfels’ greatest NFL accomplishment is single-handedly blowing a 10-point lead in four minutes against the Indianapolis Colts.

What does any of this have to to with the NBA?  Yesterday, I asked if the Timberwolves, who in case you’ve missed it, have been decimated by an avocado GM David Kahn, or the Vikings had a better chance of winning eight games next season.  I then decided to take it a step further and find out if an NFL team had ever won more games than their same-city NBA counterpart in the same season.

It turns out that it’s happened twice since the NFL went to a 16-game schedule in 1978.  The 1992 Dallas Cowboys (13-3) and the 1997 Denver Broncos (12-4), both of whom won Super Bowls, ended up with more victories than the Mavericks and Nuggets, respectively, who of course played 82 contests. In case you’re curious, the 1972 Eagles went 2-11-1 in the same season that the 76ers set the NBA record for fewest wins in one year (nine). Santa Claus probably decided to skip over Philadelphia that year for his own safety.

The 1992-93 Dallas Mavericks won 11 games, the second lowest total in league history, which isn’t all that surprising when you consider that team was led by the likes of Sean Rooks, Terry Davis, and Tim Legler.  A few terrible drafts — Randy White over Shawn Kemp, Tim Hardaway, and Mookie Blaylock in 1989 and Doug Smith over Terrell Brandon and Dale Davis in 1991 — didn’t help matters either.  While the Cowboys won 25 of 32 regular season games from 1993 to 1994 and another Super Bowl,  the Mavs won a total of 24 games and lost 140 over the same time-span.

It’s conceivable that Kahn is actually following the blueprint of the 11-win 1997-98 Denver Nuggets, who featured the likes of Johnny Newman, Dean Garrett, Priest Lauderdale and fifth overall pick Tony Battie.  After letting perennial All-Star Dikembe Mutumbo leave as a free agent with zero compensation in 1996, the Nuggets pulled off one of the more underrated worst trades in NBA history, sending the 10th pick in that year’s Draft, Jalen Rose, and Reggie Williams to Indiana Pacers for Mark Jackson, Ricky Pierce and the 23rd pick.  Then-GM Bernie Bickerstaff traded down because he didn’t think there was anyone “worth drafting” at number 10 — only a few guys named Kobe Bryant (13), Steve Nash (14), Jermaine O’Neal (17), and Peja Stojakovic (15) – and instead used the 23rd pick on Efthimios Rentzias, who never even suited up for the team.   Jalen Rose went on to win the Most Improved Player Award in 2000 while leading a Finals-bound Pacers team in scoring, and the Nuggets traded Mark Jackson back to the Pacers after 52 games in a deal that netted Vincent Askew, Eddie Johnson, and second rounders in 1997 (Jason Lawson) and 1998 (Tremaine Fowlkes).  Add that all up, and it’s a miracle the Nuggets won as many games as they did.  (more…)

It’s highly unlikely that a woman will ever play in the NBA, since even the tallest female would have trouble dealing with the size, strength, and athleticism of a men’s basketball league (picture Manute Bol guarding Shaq in the post).  Even still, few would argue that WNBA superstar Candace Parker, for one, has less pure talent than the likes of Kwame Brown, Darko Milicic, and of course, her husband Shelden Williams. As 6′8″ college freshman Brittney Griner continues to dominate against female competition and spark debate over whether she could be the first woman to break the barrier, let’s take a look at some of the NBA’s female basketball pioneers (insert Joakim Noah joke here).

Nancy Lieberman: Before her storied WNBA career, which included a brief comeback as a player last season at age 50 (take that, Jordan!), Lieberman was the first woman to play against men professionally in the United States Basketball League. She later attended NBA summer camps with the Lakers and Jazz in the mid-80’s, and became the first woman to play for the Washington Generals. Unfortunately, she still couldn’t help them beat the Harlem Globetrotters. Last week, Lieberman became the first female head coach in NBDL history, and could eventually become the first woman to coach in the NBA. Not to mention, she’s still smoking hot for a 51-year-old. Um, let’s move on.

Lusia Harris: Harris remains the first and only woman to be drafted by an NBA team after she was selected in the seventh round of the 1977 Draft (137th overall) by the New Orleans Jazz. Because she was pregnant at the time, team officials believed they owned the future draft rights to her unborn child (this actually happened, I kid you not). Although she never played in the NBA, Harris became the first female inductee into the Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame, and would still undoubtedly play better defense for the Jazz than Carlos Boozer.

Ann Meyers: In September 1979, Meyers inked a $50,000 contract with the Indiana Pacers, becoming the first and only woman to sign with and try out for an NBA team. She didn’t end up making the final cut, since clearly, when you have the chance to keep Corky Calhoun and John Kuester, you’ve got to do it. Many have since argued that Meyer’s invitation was largely a publicity stunt by the cash-starved Pacers, hardly surprising since Indiana reportedly lost close to $30 million last season. So, what’s Candace’s number again?

Cheryl Miller: Way before Candace Parker, there was Cheryl Miller, who is still widely considered as a better basketball player than her NBA All-Star brother, Reggie. Drafted by the USBL a few years after Lieberman, Miller’s playing career was derailed after a series of knee injuries.  She’s served as an NBA broadcaster for TNT Sports, and became the first female analyst to call a nationally televised NBA game in 1996.  And in case anyone was wondering if she could’ve held her own against male competition, Miller defended herself splendidly against Scot Pollard.

Violet Palmer: Palmer (along with Denise Kantner), became the first woman to referee a regular season game for any all-male professional sports league on October 31, 1997. Palmer remains the only female among the league’s 59-member officiating staff, and became the first woman to referee an NBA playoff game in 2006. While her officiating competence has come under scrutiny, any basketball fan would gladly take her over Bennett Salvatore (one of my favorite clips ever, by the way).

My fondest memory of Palmer was the time Jason Kidd slapped her on the butt during her first season. While the commentators laughed at the incident, Palmer acted as if nothing happened. It was just the right amount of awkwardness and awesomeness that always made me appreciate her style. And made me realize that Jason Kidd is a douche.

The Lebron James Future Team Cavalcade CarouselⓇ is an ongoing project, exploring the potential destinations of Lebron James, advertiser of the Lebron James Upper Deck All Star Figure Set (”Standing at an impressive 12″ tall” Ehhhhh…). All thirty teams (and perhaps some European squads) will be analyzed and awarded an arbitrary percentage on their odds of being Lebronorized. Past teams can be accessed here.

Today: The Memphis Grizzlies.. (more…)

Quick, who’s the biggest draft bust in NBA history? LaRue Martin, Chris Washburn, and Dennis Hopson might merit some consideration, but I’m guessing you thought of Sam Bowie. Selected second overall by the Portland Trail Blazers in 1984 — ahead of Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, and John Stockton –he had a mediocre and injury-plagued career that serves as a cautionary tale about the pitfalls of drafting for need over potential. While many consider him to be the biggest bust in NBA history, Bowie actually had a serviceable career, especially in his later years with the Nets. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for many of the other players on this list. Here are the biggest draft blunders of the Kevin McHale era.

1. Michael Olowokandi (No. 1 by the Los Angeles Clippers, 1998): Do you think Paul Pierce, Dirk Nowitzki, Vince Carter, Antawn Jamison, Rashard Lewis, or Mike Bibby might’ve been the better pick? How about Al Harrington, Jason Williams, or even Nazr Mohammed? You get the point. Olowokandi averaged 8 points and 7 rebounds over his nine-year career, and shot a putrid 43% from the field and under 60% from the foul line. The Clippers traded him to Minnesota after five seasons, and he’d finish his NBA career as a lowly reserve in Boston, playing behind the likes of Brian Scalabrine and Kevinn “Not A Typo” Pinkney. At least those guys picked after him didn’t amount to anything worthwhile.

2. Kwame Brown (No. 1 by the Washington Wizards, 2001): Already a member of the worst trades club, Kwame barely escapes top bust honors. After being selected first overall by then-GM Michael Jordan, Brown had a hard time handling pressure from the media, and especially from Jordan himself. He holds career averages of 7 points and 6 rebounds per game, including one double-figure scoring season in 2003. Although he’s still just 26 years years old, no one is foolish enough to trade Caron Butler or Pau Gasol for him again (okay, who am I kidding — this is still the NBA). Oh, and in addition to the birthday cake incident I mentioned before, Kwame once skipped a playoff practice because his tummy hurt — only to be spotted at a local Chinese restaurant the same night.

3.  Darko Milicic (No 2. by the Detroit Pistons, 2003):  As much as he wants to deny it, Joe Dumars regrets this pick every day.  Sure, the Pistons won a title that season, but would they have been worse off with Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, David West, or Zarko Cabarkapa coming off the bench?  Darko appeared in just 96 games with the Pistons, averaging less than 2 points and barely a rebound, before being traded to Orlando for a mid-range first round pick.  It’s only a matter of time before Hamed Haddadi becomes his, um, daddy in Memphis. Shouldn’t he at least be dating a hot European model or something?

4. Nikoloz Tskitishvili (No. 5 by the Denver Nuggets, 2002): This pick actually makes the Milicic selection look even worse, since it’s hard to imagine a GM gambling on a European big man after watching Tskitishvili. Taken ahead of Amare Stoudemire, Caron Butler, and Carlos Boozer, he played only four seasons in the NBA, averaging less than 3 points and 2 rebounds per game. But at least it’s fun to say Skita, Skita, Skita! No, wait, that’s not that fun either…never mind.  DaJuan Wagner (No. 6 by the Cleveland Cavaliers) also deserves to be mentioned here, but at least he had a decent rookie season (13 ppg)…and um, he no longer has a colon.

5. Rafael Araujo (No. 8 by the Toronto Raptors, 2004): Saying the Raptors blew this pick is an understatement. Here are just a few players taken after “Hoffa:” Andre Iguodala, Al Jefferson, Josh Smith, Andris Biedrins, Kevin Martin, Beno Udrih, and Anderson Varejao. I love how his Wikipedia entry says that he “left the NBA” to play in Russia. Right…he left the NBA of his own volition; it had nothing to do with the 2.8 points and 2.8 rebounds he averaged over three seasons.  Araujo attended Minnesota’s training camp this summer, but couldn’t beat out Jason Collins or Calvin Booth for a roster spot on one of the worst teams in the league.

6.  Rodney White (No. 9 by the Detroit Pistons, 2001): Take a look at the 2001 NBA Draft, and scan the players taken after White. I’ll give you a minute. Let’s see, there’s Joe Johnson, Richard Jefferson, Zach Randolph, Gerald Wallace, Tony Parker, Gilbert Arenas, Troy Murphy, Samuel Dalembert, Kedrick Brown…okay, maybe not Kedrick.  White played one season with the Pistons, before being traded to the Nuggets for Menk Bateer, Don Reid and a future first round pick. Yep, I think that just about says it all. He’s been out of the league since 2005, finishing his 218-game career with career averages of 7 points and 2 rebounds.

7. Jonathan Bender (No. 5 by the Toronto Raptors [traded to Indiana Pacers], 1999): Bender gets a slight pass here because it’s hard to be mad at the guy now. After retiring at the age of 25 due to a debilitating knee condition, he established the Jonathan Bender Foundation, a nonprofit initiative that builds and restores homes in poor New Orleans neighborhoods and offers free classes and basketball clinics.  Nonetheless, Bender averaged just 6 points and 2 rebounds over his nondescript career, appearing in 31 games over his final three seasons.  He was selected ahead of Shawn Marion, Corey Maggette, Wally Szcerbiak, Andre Miller, and Richard Hamilton, and even the man he was traded for, Antonio Davis, somehow became an All-Star.

8. Ed O’Bannon, Nets (No. 9 by the New Jersey Nets, 1995): Ed lasted only two seasons in the NBA after a spectacular career at UCLA, averaging a quiet 5 points for the Nets and Mavericks.  His only saving grace is that, aside from Michael Finley, only a few prominent players were selected after him (Kurt Thomas, Corliss Williamson, Brent Barry).  Oh, and he’s now a car salesman in Nevada — and proud of it!.  I also could’ve gone with Shawn Respert (No. 8 by the Milwaukee Bucks) in this spot, but he later revealed that he battled — and courageously beat — cancer during his disappointing four-year pro career.

9. Marcus Fizer (No. 4 by the Chicago Bulls, 2000):  Let’s make one thing clear:  2000 was a historically bad draft class.  Of the lottery picks, only Kenyon Martin, Mike Miller, and Jamal Crawford have had solid NBA careers.   But Stromile Swift, DeMarr Johnson, Chris Mihm, and Jerome Moiso?  Any of these guys can claim a spot on this list, so, why did I choose Marcus Fizer?  Because he’s the only one who’s been an NBA Development League MVP. Ha, take that, critics!  Oh, and in addition to Miller and Crawford, Michael Redd (taken at #43!), Hedo Turkoglu, and Joel Pryzbilla were also drafted after him.

10.  Shelden Williams (No. 5 by the Atlanta Hawks, 2005):  I don’t want to diss Mr. Candace Parker yet again, so I’ll keep this brief.  Brandon Roy, Randy Foye, and Rudy Gay were taken after him in succession.  His numbers have decreased in each of his first three seasons, and he can’t get off the Kings’ bench during a rebuilding year.  Oh, and he’s ugly as all hell (sorry, I couldn’t help myself).

Dishonorable Mention:

Fran Vasquez (No. 11 by the Orlando Magic, 2005)
Trajan Langdon (No. 11 by the Cleveland Cavaliers, 1999)
Todd Fuller (No. 11 by the Golden State Warriors, 1996)
Luke Jackson (No. 10 by the Cleveland Cavaliers, 2004)
Tony Battie (No. 5 by the Denver Nuggets, 1997)
Frederic Weis (No. 15 by the New York Knicks, 1999)
Saer Sene (No. 10 by the Seattle SuperSonics, 2006)