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Bye, Josh! (Sad Chortle)

Carroll: I can’t believe you’re gosh-darn leavin’, Joshua J. Howard the Third!

Howard: Belee dat.

Written by ebooker in: ebooker | Tags: And Josh never knew his name.., Josh Howard, Matt Carroll, Mojo Sauce, Sad Goodbyes, White people have names like Matt while black people have names like Josh..

Matt Carroll Puts His El Pie In His Boca..

(Maverick Eduardo Najera meets his new teammates..)

Najera: ¡Ola!

Howard: Fuck you call me?

Carroll: (eyes light up) Oh! A Mexican!

(more…)

Written by ebooker in: ebooker | Tags: Eduardo Najera, Josh Howard, Matt Carroll, Mexican Jokes, Mexicans, Racism

Matt & Josh Fill Out Their Christmas Wish Lists..

(Josh Howard & Matt Carroll are sitting Indian-style on the floor of the Mavericks locker room..)

Howard: And then Black Santa’s like “Hoes, Hoes, Hoes!”

Carroll: (chortles) That’s one colorful joke, Joshua!

Howard: (scowls) Ay, man..

(more…)

Written by ebooker in: ebooker | Tags: Bob Patricide, Bryant Reeves, Burgerdier General, Christmas, Dead Puppies, Food Fighters, Josh Howard, Josh Howard likes violent plays.., Lieutenant Legg, Macbeth, Mandatory Non-Denominational Holiday Parties, Matt Carroll, Not a good name for a Mitsubishi dealership.., Rolando Blackman, Taco Terror

Bob Ryan Also Sucks..

It’s been almost two months since Bob Ryan spoke on the sport of basketball. He’s been too busy defending the elderly Bill Belichick. LEAVE GRAMPA ALONE!

Today Bob discusses Brandon Jennings and the fact that he must bow at the altar of KG, the first man to say “College is for pussies.” (Except for Reggie Harding & Spencer Haywood & Darryl Dawkins & Bill Willoughby & Moses Malone & Lloyd Daniels & Shawn Kemp; but after them, JUST KG!!)

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Matt Carroll & Josh Howard: Domestic Dispute..

(Josh Howard is sitting on an old futon in the North Dallas apartment he shares with teammate Matt Carroll..)

Howard: (tokes)

Carroll: (enters apartment, throws down duffel bag) Fancy meeting you here! (chortles)

Howard: (tokes, nods)

Carroll: You haven’t moved since I left for morning practice!

Howard: (tokes, nods) (more…)

Written by ebooker in: ebooker | Tags: Christ I'm Bad At Microsoft Paint.., Cyborgs, Future War, Josh Howard, Matt Carroll, Redbones, Shawn Marion, Shawn Marion is a Redbone.., That might be my worst art yet.., That would be how Matt Carroll sits.., White people have names like Matt while black people have names like Josh..

Carroll: (sulking, exercising) Sulk!

Howard: Why you sulkin’, Matt?

Carroll: Aw shucks, Josh! I wanted to go on this rollicking adventure that the mysterious voice told me about and then old grumpy-head Mark Cuban tells me I can’t!

Howard: Well fuck him in the nads, let’s do it anyway!

Carroll: (stroking chin) Intriguing proposition..

(more…)