“I think us being there really made a statement to him,’’ maintains Ray Allen. “A player can hear things from Danny and Doc, but he heard it from our mouths, face to face.’’

Starring Tom Skerritt.

Doc likes the college recruiting analogy.

Ubuntu U?

“I talk to John Calipari a lot,’’ Rivers says,

Alienating his entire fanbase in one fell swoop.

“and when I told him what was happening he said, ‘Just make sure you don’t leave the campus without his commitment.’ And he never did go to another campus.’’

Ainge, the orchestrator of this whole thing, is now downplaying it.

Rasheed? Meh, he sucks.

“I don’t think that was the difference,’’ he insists. “He was on an emotional high right afterward, but he didn’t make his decision for a few days. I think it came down to who these guys are on the court. He had witnessed it from afar, and he wanted to be part of it.’’

He wanted to be a part of our old, injured action.

The GM also claims there is nothing very unusual about players being part of personnel discussions, at least in Boston.

“Red [Auerbach] would talk with Larry [Bird], Kevin [McHale], and DJ [Dennis Johnson] about players,’’ Ainge says. “We would all say, ‘We don’t want to play with this guy,’ or “We’d like to play with that guy.’ ’’

And then he’d just go out and sign some white guy, anyway.

Red was always ahead of the curve. The main reason he plucked Don Nelson off waivers was that Tom Heinsohn, among others, told Red they did not like to play against him.

He was always trying to bite us and screaming “Nnnnnellie Ball!” And don’t get near that guy at a cockfight.

But that was Red, and this is Boston. It’s not like that everywhere, as he knows, Doc knows, and the players know.

And you know. And I know. And the moon knows. Goodnight, moon.

This organization sees the management-player relationship as a partnership.

LOL, gay..

“They understand our needs and we understand their needs,’’ Allen says.

Goodness!

In all candor, it’s easy for everyone to say this now, one championship later. It wasn’t all that long ago that Pierce was afraid he’d be playing out his career as the best player on a bad, or, at best, mediocre, team. Then Ainge was able to trade for Allen, and thus KG, who would never have remotely entertained a move to Boston otherwise, agreed to come here and - Voila! - a Big Three and championship No. 17.

You might even say that anything is possible.

Now Paul, KG, and Ray are senior members of the firm, and are included in policy planning.

Teehee! It’s like their businessmen!

“My belief is that players know a lot,’’ Ainge says.

Oh, Danny! What a card!

“They’re bright, very bright.

He’s on a roll!

They have great insights.

I’d be stupid not to listen to Kevin, Paul, and Ray. I may not always agree, but I’ve got to listen.’’

You know, Ubuntu and all that shit.

There weren’t any disputes on this one. The Big Three wanted Rasheed. The coach, the GM, and the managing partner wanted Rasheed. And Rasheed decided that joining the Celtics was likewise in his best interest.

“He was only going to a team he thought could win,’’ Rivers says. “So I hope he’s right. I hope he’s a good talent evaluator.’’

Because if he isn’t, HE’S FUCKIN’ FIRED!

But those other teams are all pretty good. There was really only one big thing separating them.

“San Antonio, Cleveland, Orlando, none of those other teams brought players,’’ points out Allen.

And that’s a fact.

And that’s..

Bob Ryan is a Globe columnist and host of Globe 10.0 on Boston.com. He can be reached at ryan@globe.com.

~~~

Welp. Another Bob Ryan drivelin’ devil down. I was shocked & mildly appalled that Bob Ryan wasn’t shocked & mildly appalled by the ‘Sheed trade. But I guess, after last season, as a Celtics fan you’ll talk yourself into a lotta things. I just hope next season we stay a little more healthy and nobody gets sick. Because that could be…

…fatal.

Danny Ainge feels all that business may have started right here with Larry Bird.

And then his heart exploded.

“Larry was a small forward, but he played a lot of power forward,” Ainge points out. “Larry wasn’t a guy who grew up shooting the three. He was just a great shooter, period. But guys now grow up shooting the three. It has become an integral part of the game. It’s a priority of many offenses.”

We call them “Shitty Offenses.”

We now have a totally different basketball world, one in which Cleveland has a 7-3 Lithuanian center (Zydrunas Ilgauskas) who’d rather launch an 18-footer than plant his large carcass down in the paint

Fuckin’ Lithuanians! They’re worse than the Turks!

and in which Dallas has a 7-foot German

(ahem) Nazi! (ahem)

(Dirk Nowitzki) whose 3-point shooting is a devastating weapon.

And notice, please, the nationalities.

Notice, please, that they’re all filthy Europeans.

“I couldn’t have envisioned that when I was a rookie, either,” says Rivers. “I guess I kind of knew some Europeans were legit,

Some were even too legit. And some would, in fact, not quit.

and you knew some would wind up playing in our league, but you couldn’t imagine it becoming as worldwide as it is.”

“When I was in college [BYU], we played the Russian national team, and they had some good players,” says Ainge.

If ya like dirty red Commies!

“I had respect for the good European players. But now it is completely global, with the best players from France, Germany, Canada, and China all playing here.

Doesn’t get anymore globaler than Canada.

That’s why this is the best league in the world.”

Better than that one full of extraordinary gentlemen? My!

Ainge and Rivers are reasonably contemporary, with the GM preceding his coach as an NBA player by two years. That was the in-between period, when no high school players were entering the draft. That small first crop (Moses Malone, Darryl Dawkins, Bill Willoughby, etc.) were making their mark,

And what a helluva mark ‘ol Bill WIlloughby made!

and the second wave, led by Kevin Garnett, had yet to materialize.

The world wasn’t yet ready for this level of intensity..

In the early ’90s, it was generally agreed that what those first three had done was an isolated phenomenon and the NBA would never have to deal with teeny-boppers again.

With their juice boxes and their cassette tape players and their complicated shoes!

Then came Garnett, a young man from South Carolina via Chicago who believed he was good enough to play in the league right now.

Wait, he thought then that he was good enough to play now? Why did he enter then, then? Why didn’t he wait ’til now?

“My first thought was, ‘No way!’ ” says Rivers,

And then I was like, “Oh no you din’n't!” And then I was like, “Awwwww sheeeeyitttt!”

who had entered the 1983 draft following his junior year at Marquette. “There’s no way you can play coming out of high school.”

Then he saw Garnett play.

“I actually did say, ‘OK, I was wrong. The kid can play.’ “

Lewis offered himself up for the 1998 draft after a successful career at Alief (Texas) High School. The Sonics took him in the second round, and he is now concluding his 11th season. He is a three-time 20-ppg scorer, and you’d certainly have to say his career choice was wise.

Yeah, he duped the Magic out of hundreds of millions of dollars and has never been out of the second round; when he could’ve gone to a school like Texas for four years, taken them to a couple Final Fours and come into the NBA as one of the premier forwards in the league and still gotten all that money and probably have taken a team to the Conference Finals by now and not been such a whiny immature bitch every time a ticky-tack foul is called. Wise career choice.

Howard was the ultimate, the first pick in the 2004 draft. The Magic had to choose between this sculpted kid from Southwest Atlanta Christian Academy

Whoa, easy there Bob.

“And you should see his ass. Cut. Out. Of marble.”

and the best college player on the best college team, Connecticut center Emeka Okafor.

God bless you.

The latter has had an OK career for the Charlotte Bobcats,

The Charlotte What-Nows?

and he keeps getting better, but he’s not close to an All-Star.

Actually, he’s sorta very close. If Ree-Shard Lewis can be an All-Star, Emeka can.

Howard is, by acclamation, the best center in the league,

Bold statements, brought to you by the Boston Globe: In business for the next three months.

a shot-blocking and rebounding machine who can also get you 30 points if not monitored properly in the low post.

Thanks for the plug, Bob. Much appreciated.

He has had five great seasons in the league, and he won’t turn 24 until Dec. 8.

And he smiles a lot. Don’t forget the smiles!

Turkoglu began playing professionally in Turkey at age 17.

Ugh, Turkey? Might as well play in a trash dump.

At least he didn’t play in that whore factory known as Lithuania! Or Nazi Germany, for that matter!

He was a 2000 No. 1 pick (16th overall) by the Sacramento Kings. He has been a mainstay of the Turkish national team, and his entire profile is that of a modern player, from the extensive international background to his proficiency with the three.

Howard-Lewis-Turkoglu: It’s the quintessential futuristic NBA front line, except that the future is now.

The Future Is Now.

I give you…FUTURE ORLANDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob Ryan is a Globe columnist and can be reached at ryan@globe.com.

~~~

Random Bob Ryan Face ‘Splodin’ pic:

If the Magic frontline is the future I’m getting in Bob Ryan’s time machine back to 1983 lickity-quick.

Besides, Future Orlando’s always under constant surveillance for the ongoing threat known as Space Bear.

SPACE BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!