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People tell me we are currently in an economic recession. I wouldn’t know, as I am a wealthy haberdasher. (more…)

The Lebron James Future Team Cavalcade CarouselⓇ is an ongoing project, exploring the potential destinations of Lebron James, advertiser of the Lebronsketball (different colors to be released by 2010). All thirty teams (and perhaps some European squads) will be analyzed and awarded an arbitrary percentage on their odds of being Lebronorized. Past teams can be accessed here.

Today: The Sacramento Kings.. (more…)

"I was born to be an American TV star!"

Can it be true?  The Maloofs are considering making a Sacramento Kings televised reality series with Mark Burnett, the creator of hit shows such as “The Survivor” and “The Apprentice.” I haven’t been this excited since Woody Allen became my hero — er, I mean Mitch Richmond won All-Star Game MVP.  Why, you ask?  Well, let’s see…

*Listing Shelden Williams’ name in the final credits will secure the team’s first W in the closing seconds.

*Kings fans can always blame Vlade Divac if the show flops.

*We can finally see footage of those priceless locker room conversations between a blazed Brad Miller and Kings rookie Bobby Brown:

“Dude! Did you, like, bring Whitney with you?”
“Nah, Brad. It’s not funny anymore. For the last time, I’m not that Bobby Brown!”
“Pssshht — stop playing, son!  [Starts singing off-key] AND IIIIIIIII EEEEE IIIIIIIIII EEEEE IIIIII will always love YOOOUUUUUUUU…”

Brown rolls his eyes and walks away in disgust. [End scene]

*Cameos from those naughty Kings cheerleaders (here’s the NSFW version)…

*It’s the Tribal Council’s best chance to vote Kenny Thomas’ cap-killing contract off the island…

*They already have a catchy theme song:

*The Maloofs’ company also produces the E! reality show “Living Lohan” — just three more years, and Ali can be all yours, Beno!

*Rumor has it that Spencer Hawes‘ Michael Phelps imitation is uncanny…

*I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but I only wish the Kings still had Ron Artest…happy four-year anniversary!