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We’ve seen some epic collapses in the sports world, from the Houston Oilers’ overtime meltdown against the Buffalo Bills in 1993 to the Boston Red Sox historic comeback against the New York Yankees in 2004. While no team in NBA history has ever blown a 3-0 series lead, eight teams have battled back from a 3-1 deficit, and an eighth seed once made it all the way to the Finals. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest choke jobs in recent NBA playoff history.

1. Seattle vs. Denver (1994): Yes, it was a five-game series, but no one gave the eighth seed Nuggets any chance of beating the 63-win Sonics. Seattle went up 2-0, and then had approximately 1,243 shots blocked by Dikembe Mutombo in the next three games.  And of course, we’ll always have that wonderful image of Mutombo clutching the ball while laying on the court; it sexed him later on that evening.

2. Dallas vs. Golden State (2007): The Warriors became the first eighth seed to beat the one seed in a seven-game series, though it wasn’t completely unexpected after Golden State matched up so well against the Dallas during the regular season.  Still, there’s no question that the Mavs fell apart and lost their confidence, especially MVP Dirk “No-win-ski,” who scored 8 points on 2 or 13 shooting in the deciding Game 6. But please, Nellie, control yourself!

3. New York vs. Indiana (1995): The Knicks held a six-point lead with less than 20 seconds left in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, before Miller hit a three, stole a sloppy Anthony inbounds pass, and tied the game with another three-ball. John “2 for 19″ Stars then missed two free throws, before Miller, inexplicably fouled by Mason, hit both foul shots and ran into the locker room screaming, “Chokers! Chokers!” Yep, that about says it all right there. And if you’re wondering, this game just barely edges out Teresa Witherspoon’s half-court buzzer beater in the 1999 WNBA Finals for my favorite playoff finish of all-time. I’m completely serious.

4. Orlando vs. Detroit (2003): The eighth-seed Magic took a shocking 3-1 series lead over the heavily-favored Pistons, leading Tracy McGrady to note that it was “nice to finally be in the second round.” Maybe he didn’t know about the rule change? Orlando lost the next three games by an average of twenty points and T-Mac has still not played on a team that has advanced past the first round. Tracy, it’s not on you, and maybe it’s time to give it up?

5. Portland vs. Los Angeles Lakers (2000): You can find Portland under “choke” in the dictionary — no, really, you can. The Blazers held a 15-point lead at the start of the fourth quarter in Game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals and threw it all away. Wait, does anyone realize that we were minutes away from the Jail Blazers going to the Finals and likely winning the championship? And watching Kobe and Shaq man-hug and pretend to like each other was awkward back then, but it’s on a whole different level now.

6. Los Angeles Lakers vs. Boston (2008): The Lakers led by 24 points in the third quarter of Game 4, but lost the game after the Celtics completed the biggest comeback in the NBA Finals since 1971. After winning Game 5, Los Angeles missed their flight to Boston and forfeited Game 6. Oh, right, Kobe and company were drubbed by 39 points, the biggest margin of victory in an NBA championship-clinching game (laughs manically).

7. Dallas vs. Miami (2006): The Mavs won the first two games of the Finals, and Mark Cuban started planning a championship parade. Dallas was up by 13 points with under seven minutes left in Game 3, but ended up blowing the lead and the next three games on a series of missed free throws and botched timeouts. And Dwyane Wade may have gotten a call or two in South Beach…along with herpes.

7. Los Angeles Lakers vs. Phoenix (2006): After losing Game 1, the seventh-seed Lakers won the next three, and looked to close out the Suns in five games. Raja Bell would have none of that, and became the hero of Laker-haters everywhere after clothes-lining Kobe Bryant in Game 5. Kobe, afraid of another ass-kicking, took only three shots in the second half of the deciding seventh game, a 31-point Phoenix win (continues to laugh).

9. Miami vs. New York (1999): The Knicks made an improbable run all the way to the Finals as an eighth seed, defeating the Heat in the first round on an Allan Houston running jumper, though it should be noted that this happened during the fat player lockout shortened season. It’s a little ironic that Latrell Sprewell was on the other side of the choke. And was it all worth it when you consider that it led to Houston’s cap-killing contract? I say, no.

10. New Jersey vs. Boston (2002): The Nets were leading by 21 points in the fourth quarter of Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals, and were then outscored 41-16 by the Celtics the rest of the way.  It’s ranked lower because New Jersey surprisingly rebounded to win the series after going down 2-1, and earned a trip to a Finals sweep at the hands of the Los Angeles Lakers (stops laughing).

Honorable Mention:

*Sacramento vs. Los Angeles Lakers (2002): Conspiracy theories aside, the Kings were visibly nervous in Game 7 and missed 14 out of 30 free throws. I’d rather not talk about this.

*Orlando vs. Houston (1995): More of an individual career collapse since the Magic were woefully outmatched in Finals, but has there ever been a more stunning breakdown than Nick Anderson missing four consecutive free throws in the closing seconds of Game 1?

With the regular season now less than a week away, Shaq buckles down and puts his street clothes on for 82 game grind.

I wish I knew why NBA players continue to put out rap albums.  Over the last 15 years, we’ve heard over a dozen prominent athletes disgrace themselves on the microphone for our enjoyment. To be fair, not all of them are terrible…and hell, I’d take any of these guys over Lil’ Wayne. Let’s take a look back at the worst of the worst, starting with the man who started it all…Shaq-Fu.

1992: Shaquille O’Neal — For the life of me, I’ll never understand how Shaq’s first album went platinum and his second went gold. Sure, he’s one of the most recognizable athletes in the world, but he’s embarrassingly bad on mic. I’m not even going to say his lyrics are as bad as his foul shooting – that’s being too kind. Don’t let the infamous freestyle Kobe diss fool you; look no further than his debut, Shaq Diesel to get, um, a taste.

I had a hard time picking out my favorite rhymes, but here are a few gems:

“I can flow like pee, coming out yo’ know what / Or some ookey diarrhea coming out yo’ butt”
“Watch out the funky hooper / I uh er-huh er-huh, sorry, I made a pooper.” (I Hate to Brag)
“I leave a bad taste in your mouth, like boogers in coffee” (Shoot Pass Slam)
“Treat you like Spielberg / You get Jur-ASS-kicked in the park” (I Know I Got Skillz)

Oh, and whatever you do, don’t click here…you won’t feel good about yourself, trust me.

1994: Immortal Records released an amazing hip-hop album called Basketball’s Best-Kept Secret, which features songs from several recognizable ‘90’s ballers. A few of these joints aren’t even half-bad: Dana Barros informs us that he “slams like Onyx, puffing on the chronic,” Brian Shaw slow-flows through a somber track about his family’s struggles, and even Gary Payton sounds decent over a funky West Coast beat. But the two absolute worst on the record are Jason Kidd, whose uses the same monotone flow from his interviews on “What the Kidd Didd;” and Cedric Ceballos, who even graced us with a fantastic music video for his corny (Warren G-produced!?) track, “Flow On.”

Typing out lyrics doesn’t even do these songs justice, but here goes:

Ceballos: “You start to Wonder, I know yo’ name is Stevie / Don’t think about it fool, cuz you know you can’t see me”
“Tickity tock, don’t stop, yeah the clock is still tickin’ / Ya booty chicken rhymes, mine are finger lickin’”

Kidd: “At St. Joe’s, the hos treated me different / But I was good on the dribble like an infant”

1999: Chris Webber — I remember spotting C-Webb’s first single, “Gangsta Gangsta (How U Do It),” at my local Sam Goody some years back. What do you do when your favorite basketball player releases a horrible rap album? You pretend it never existed. Unfortunately, Webber couldn’t let that happen – he also shot not one, but two clichéd videos.  “Gangsta” features Kurupt and Redman, though shockingly, Juwan Howard and Jalen Rose are nowhere to be found. Oh, and he rhymes “fetish for lettuce” with “Jerome Bettis.”  Ugh.

Bonus unreleased C-Webb video: “Too Much Drama”

2000: Kobe Bryant –- Allen “Jewelz” Iverson also released a few tracks during the same year, though his album was famously disallowed by Commissioner Stern for its violent and homophobic lyrics. Either way, we can give AI a pass here, since his flow doesn’t sound that forced on “40 Bars.” Kobe, however, gets no such pass. Bryant was set to release his debut album, Visions, until that project was understandably scrapped. He did, however, cut a few tracks with Fiddy and Beanie Sigel (seriously) and made a cameo on Brian McKnight’s “Hold Me (Remix)” in 1997.

Below is a live performance of his first single, “K.O.B.E.” — with a guest verse from Tyra Banks!

And here’s my personal favorite, “Thug Poet,” featuring 50 Cent and Broady Boy (courtesy of XXLMag.com).  He can’t be serious, right?

Timeless lyrics from Black Mamba:

“Kick in the do’ wavin’ the flow flow / All you heard was stop, can’t take the hits - can’t take the hits - no more” (Thug Poet)

“If you hear me say murder, that means I’m a Thug Poet / If I say my mind kills, that means I’m a Thug Poet / If I say that I’m a glock, that means that I’m a Thug Poet,”

“But I refuse to weep / Yet when I sleep, I feel tears trickling down my cheek” (Hold Me)

2006: Ron Artest & 2008: Troy Hudson – I’m gonna group these two together, since they suffer from the same problem: lack of interest. Absolutely no one cared when their respective albums were released, as Ron-Ron sold a meager 343 copies in his first week, and T-Hud managed to one-up him by selling 78 of his own. Both sound equally awkward and off beat at times, though they’re nowhere near as bad as some their predecessors…so I guess that’s progress. Their anemic sales are punishment enough, and I wouldn’t have gone any further…had I not come across this amazing video for T-Hud’s “Tru Luv” (featuring Ray J). I’m not gonna lie to you, the song is actually kinda hot — aside from Hudson’s simplistic rapping — but I’m not saying anything further. Just watch and enjoy.

Dishonorable mention – Tony Parker. This song sounds horrendous to me, but since I don’t know French, I won’t judge…for now.